APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
                (REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME)

NOTE - This application will be Incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

1.  NAME:_____________________ DATE OF BIRTH: _______________
2.  HEIGHT:___________  WEIGHT: ______IQ: ________GPA: ______
3.  SOCIAL SECURITY #: ___________DRIVERS LICENSE #: _________
4.  BOY SCOUT RANK:_______________________________________
5.  HOME ADDRESS: ________________CITY: _________  ZIP ______
6.  Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? Yes____  No_______
If NO, explain: ________________________________________________
7.  Number of years parents married: ___________
8.  DO YOU OWN A VAN? ____ A TRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES OR
CAMPER
SHELL?  ____ WATERBED? _____ MOTORCYCLE? _____    TATOO? ____
COLOR
ALTERED HAIR? ___  (IF YES TO ANY PART OF #8, DISCONTINUE
APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY)
9.  In 50 words or less, what does "Late" mean to you?
 

10.  In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to
you?
 

11.  In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
 

12.  What church do you attend? ________________  How often do you
attend?  ____/ week
13.  When would be the best time to interview your father, mother,
priest or pastor? ____________
14.  Fill in the blanks:  Please answer freely - all answers are
confidential (That means I won't tell anyone - I promise):
A.  If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded
is in the _____________
B.  If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
_____________
C.  A women's place is in the ______________________________________
D.  The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is

E.  When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is

(NOTE:  If the answer to "E" begins with a B, T, or A, discontinue and
leave the premises immediately with your head hung low.)
15.  What do you want to be IF you grow up? _________________________
16.  Do you plan to attend a Catholic or Christian College? _________
Which one? ____________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND
CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF
DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE,
CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,
AND RED HOT POKERS.
 

                                __________________________________
                                Signature (That means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest.  Please allow four to six years for
processing.  You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

Please do not try to call or write (this action will void this
application).  If your application is rejected you will be notified by
two angels wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks.  (You might want
to start praying now)